We're Wishing Counter Clockwise

So I told myself I'd always hate Greenday... But I guess there's room for contradiction in
life.
But who would've thought "Time of our life" would bring me to tears
I remember hearing it and looking back at you, knowing exactly who did this memories video.
I remember that day
I remember too much
So we're all separated now and it hurts
And i miss all three of you
And we all feel the same but we're waiting to see which one will grow apart first
And the outcome
I dont know

And our dreams have become our memories
And It tears me apart
I want to go counter clockwise
But I keep ticking forward

And this is why i don't blog any more
I lost originality goddammit
Look at my old shit then this
No comparison
...I'll write when i get smart
I'm sorry

Know whats funny?

I write and either swell thier hearts with joy
Or stab them with anger
....its just how I do things

Folder

I dont have a perfect life
But i carry everything i write
In this folder by my bed
And when i feel down
Or when you're not around
I write and put it
In this folder by my bed
And when they make me sick
and when god forbid I ever quit....
you can find why in this folder in my bed
but i'll refuse to die
I'll live forever by
This folder by my bed
It's in my hand
And i have a plan
To change or destroy the world
Word For Word
The weapon of choice
my only spoken voice
My way out of this world
and into a new one
i have a folder by my bed
or in my hand
That i use to say softspoken sentences to myself
and nobody else

There once was a boy....

Who created a world
After a book he read
He made it in his imagination
His image
Made people in the world
And let them free to roam.
Then people started hurting themselves for him
Sacrafice
Suicide
In his name
he didnt like this very much at all
They started making new theories on how the world came to be
and who had ultimate rule over thier souls
The little boy didnt like this
it made them pay attention to the sky
instead of thier lives
they started calling each other hypocites
Slaughtering each other
the little boy covered his eyes
He dosent lose faith though
he dosent judge the incorrect
because everybody makes mistakes
He just regulates how we will spend our time
So thank the boy
and never think you're above him

Little Sister

So if my apoligies were as good as my guilt eyes
I'd be like , Jesus-right?
But wait...
Wouldnt that mean crucifiction?

So everybody has a flaw
A kink in thier armor
Mine-I dont know when to shut the fuck up
And then I dont know how to deal with the confrontation
So let my brain go for a minute


First.
I'm so sorry. I forgot of you vunerability for the day, sometimes i lose sight of things like that and i dont come off as the guy you know me of. But the reason I make those jokes is so you could say "Fuck you" and laugh at the same time
Because i love when you do that

I guess I take things to far
and i guess i dont know what love is
but i can damn sure try to guess it

Second.
What i view as love with us:
i guess
i dont know what to say
other than love is being there for the sunshine and the rain
Love is taking shit like this and learning from it
Love is the fact that i could tell you that you dont have any flaws because in my eyes you're perfect
know why?
Because when you love someone, you tend to appreciate the imperfections too
You love the imperfections
because it means they're not only human
but to an extent, they're not because they're flawless
If you're to read this
you're probably gonna laugh,
because it's okay
because thats what love means too
Ignoring all the little things that wont mean anything someday
why do i keep fucking saying love?
Anyway
Love is a force that makes you

• physically intrested with someone
• fascinated with someone
• engulfed in someone
• obsessed with someone
• or broken by someone

i had to add broken because after obsessed, they're either obsessed with you too or your broken and your world no longer makes sense

But we're different, arent we?
Alot Different

i think you're the most amazing person ive ever met

i think you're the strongest too

I think that if we really put our hearts into it, we could raise hell

and have the most fun we've ever had

i think i love you

but i think i dont want to do anything with you that would hurt anything we had

and so

you're my little sister

And big brothers

can be dickheads sometimes

We tease at the wrong time

Because we think it's okay

But i forgot an underlying problem

and i set you off

and i hope you didnt take that dumb shit to heart

because we're all insecure

but trust me when i say

you're beautiful and i wouldnt want you anyy other way

Little sister

It seems i've made another mistake

It seems i didnt listen to your discretion

It seems i've been a shitty big brother

But I cant stand the thought of seeing you mad

I cant stand the thought of you saying k, but meaning
you're never gonna live this down

little sister

i love you

in a wierd way

because love cant be confined into four little fucking letters

like now i get why people say god is love

because its so fucking beautiful

if everything was love

we'd be in heaven

You know?

Little Sister

You left to fast

It sunk in at about 11:15 that i had made a horrible mistake

and at about 11:35 im going to seal this letter in my best wishes for you

in hopes that everything will be ok

and you could finally be happy

little sister

This is so little

but so big to me

i want you to know if you ever hate me

to read this

and know that no matter what

you're always here in my heart

little sister

im not asking for guilt because i would rather have your hate than guilt

i want your forgiveness

and your trust

that if the world has a gun to your head

Then you're big brothers going to take the bullet

Little Sister

I think i've never been in love

but i know what love is

i dont know if we love each other on the same magnitudes

but i know how much i care

scares me sometimes

but thats what the world wants

for you to overcome fear

to break boundries

to play with the fucking flowers

and let the sand seep through your fingers

and to let the pieces fall

and pick it up

the way you want to

ittle sister

you have the world in your palm and you dont even know it

you have strength

and this is coming from the boy over reacting now

so, just trust me

Little sister, it seems ive written another novel

but every chapter in your life just pulls me closer to the want to be remembered

as the person who helped you through the worst

and to be remembered

for the rest of your life

Little sister

You're so beautiful

and i love you

and i will try not to hurt you

but i want you to remember im flesh and bone

and nothing more

Little sister

I love you so much

and im not using my way with words to escape your anger

but to let you know

that i care

more than anyone will until you get a husband

-Derrick

I wish life were sweeter to you...

I say that all the time
And I hate every moment of saying it
Because I shouldnt have to worry about catching a fallen angel
They shouldnt be falling
No, not at all
You
look at everybody
Even people you idolize
And somethings fucked up
Nobody's entirely happy
And I've heard so many stories
That it just makes me feel
That I'm going to go out and take care of everybody
And I'm perfectly fine with that
So until God takes away pain and tears
I'm walking around with my arms out
To catch the fallen

To the Trio

It seems I've made another mistake
I'm sorry, but we've all made mistakes
Like the person who called this a bad sequel

We're only an hour into the movie
Freshmen- thats what we are
To think we can wrap up a movie in 6 months, thats crazy
The sequel will have -the college days on it
I think...
you're afraid we wont all be together
and thats why you rush the timing
So you can get what you can while you're certain that we all have time together.
Wow i only space alot while in deep concentration
Anyway

Somebody else thinks she ruined his life
But We're only 14
We dont have lives yet
I doubt the year i went to see iron man would be the rest if my life
Sure-it hurts like fuck sometimes
But don't worry sweetheart
Time heals any wound
And the sands of time are not salt

And me
The boy with the way of words
I don't regret my emotions
But i regret this whole poet thing I got going on
It seems I do it because I cant get my shit together unless it's on paper
Poets are pathetic
and shakesphere was probably a pussy
I wish i was the cool kid though
No, no i dont
I'm a pretty cool kid
See?
It's all in your mind
you can do anything you want, trio
We are limitless
We only hold our tongues
For others I guess
But we cant hold our tongues anymore
Because it only results in awkward pauses
and then we have to wipe the blood off our tongues.

To the trio
I love you guys
I wouldnt Do anything to harm any of you
Intentionally
And i do this psycobabble because it's free conscience writing
And if you sound good doing it
Hell, you're a genius
I think Mark Twain was good at it

To the Trio
If any of you ever give up
It dominoes to the rest of your life
And you think what if?

To the Trio
If you find a cure to your problems
Then smile
to the rest of us know its working
I'll come in on monday with the biggest fucking smile
Because i cant live without my daily dose of optimism

To the Trio
The heart is great
but sometimes the head works even better
and you guys are genius
you just need to let your heart fight for itself sometimes

To the Trio
I write too much
Both of you know that
One of you have 33 pages
and the other has 33 letters
And i have 33 mistakes that i constantly ignore
because i have you
To the trio



To the trio
It's one for all
all for one
no paticullar thing is one persons fault
We all had our part in it
It just seems the bearer of bad news always thinks they are the bad news

To the Trio
I'm a different person every minute
Welcome to the insanity of life
It would just be so much better
If everything was a product of our imagination

To the Trio
I just woke up from a dream
that was my whole life
and i don't feel like i wasted my time dreaming
I feel like i gave myself life

I fucking love you guys
and if i lose any of you
i lose myself, you know
Because the boy with the way with words
is only a product of his surroundings
So you are me
To the trio

Today

Was the worst day ever
Friday never looked so bad
I laughed
I didn't cry
I felt like I was going to throw up though
I don't know
Today is one of those days where you don't want to care about anybody or anything
I wanna curl up in a ball and not exist
I have to give up what I love
And I don't want to
But life gives up choices
And I'll make the one that I know is going to fuck myself over
But this time, I'm aware of the consequences
I'm so sorry, everyone who has to put up with me
I just Wish I wasn't so bitter and lackluster
I feel numbness
I want to be loved